Great Relationship Advice. Pg-13.

My friends, expecially Brady and Lauren, are the funniest people I know.
Do you need an example?
 Rhetorical question. You do not.
But guess who is going to give you one anyway?
Rhetorical question. I am!

[The following exert is from a Facebook message between the three of us.]

Brady:

Well? whats so important???

 

Me:

Stuuuuuff....

 

Brady:

 líiiike???

 

Me: 

Are you okay?

 

Brady: 

Yes were fine wb yall

 

Me:

  Im okay lol

 

Brady: 

Cool

 

Me: 

I reeeeally wanna ask you something but idk if it'd be okay with your mom checking fb and all haha

 

Brady:

I dont think she is lol go ahead

 

Me:

 If a certain brunette boy kissed you, after how many kisses in general would it be appropriate to use tongue?
I'm curious what the average answer is lol mine was 4

 

Lauren:

Uh. Wow. So.

 

Brady:

Yeah I'd say four....Hi lauren what was it you wanted to ask of me?

 

Lauren:

I'm gonna say 3?
BUT! MUY IMPORTANTE! I talked to Gabe last night. He was interested in procuring some hookers for the weekend KIDDING BAD JOKE BAD JOKE. But seriously, he insisted that yall are going out but to 'keep it on the down-low and not talk to anyone about it.' To which I was like "Ahahaha bullshit". Also somewhere along the way he called me a crazy bitch and I called Briana a dildo.
And I told him to bring you flowers, but to be careful about it, because our dearest Brady is allergic to everything that fucking moves.
Anyway sooo are you two legit going out? Because if not, Gabe is a liar and also totes wants to make your bed rock.

 

Brady:

Lol yeah we're dating he's not a liar lol

 

Me: 

lol

 

Lauren:

 Oh. Well.
YOU CAN CALL HIM FRED FLINTSTONE CUZ HE CAN MAKE YO BED ROCK.

 

Me: 

INDEED I'M SURE HE CAN

 

Lauren:

WE APPROVE OF HIS SEXUAL PROWESS LOLOLOL

 

Brady: 

I hate you guys

 

Me:

LOLOLOL
MAKE SURE HE USES PROTECTIONXOR

 

Brady:

I still hate ya'll

 

Me:

I...I love you brady ;')

 

Lauren:

ALSO
BE CAREFUL
He gets miiighty touchy when you laugh at his penis.
BUT ANYWAY CONDOMZ YES

 

Me: 

xD

 

Brady:

Suuure

 

Me: 

We love you long time bradeh!! :D

 

Lauren:

TO DISCOURAGE LAUGHING, YOU MAY WANT TO THINK OF SERIOUS ISSUES AS HE DISROBES.
LIKE, LIKE, TSUNAMIS OR 9/11 OR SOMETHING.
It is hard to distract yourself from that hilarity.

 

Brady:

Okay fine but no more bedrock jokes

 

Me:

What about bedstoning jokes?

 

Lauren:

No laughing at the size of his pebbles when you two bam-bam, either. ;D

 

Brady:

Shut up lol

 

Me: 

 :'D

 

Brady:

Still hate you

 

Lauren :

And don't ask why they're so fruity. HE'S STRAIGHT GODDAMMIT IT'S JUST HARD FOR HIM.

 

Me:

You're gonna make me cry lol

 

Brady:

You're gonna make me kill you

 

Lauren :

IT MAKES HIM CRY TOO

 

Me: :3

 

Brady:

Grrrrr

 

Lauren:

:)
Stay safe Brady. You wouldnt want to get any weird 5000-year-old diseases from him.

 

Brady:

Shuddup

 

Lauren:

Especially not the ones detailed in the 1968 holiday special. That was rough. Wanna know what Barney got for Xmas? A venerial disease.

 

Brady:  

Thats nice

 

Lauren: 

 I wuv yoo, Brady :3

 

Brady:

Suuuure ya do

 

Me: 

 We DO love you!

 

Brady:

Mhm

~~~~~~~~

 

That was an amazing experience, let me tell you. Even though Brady was mostly saying threats and I was showing my feelings through emoticons.

Yeah, I know. I get seriously bored.