I'm also talking to boyfriend on the phone :3 he's writing a blog post too!
It's probably going to have embarrassing stuff about me in it, of course. What kind of bog post doesn't?
The icky, completely unhumorous sort. Herp derp derp.
~~~
I wanted to make a sandwich today (obviously because I'm an awesome woman). Yet, despite me having the best intent EVAR my mommy decided to stab my happiness in the face with deli meat. Yeah, that's right. That's what you just heard. Bam.
I might even sue.
I might sue for improper conduct with sliced flesh or for the stabbing of happiness.
R.I.P happiness, we'll all miss you.
Cause someone decided you were in need of a good stabbing.
Grumble grumble grumble.
Aight. So Imma lay down something fresh for you here and tell you how this homicide occurred. While being amazingly black and eloquent.
A.k.a I'll be impersonating Morgan Freeman.
The scenario went like this...
One girl....
One uncompleted sandwich....
In desperate need of ham....
**DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN**
**Dramatic music scheme continues**
**Girl opens fridge**
**Casual fading into black as girl has shocked look on face**
"THE HAM ISN'T THERE."
"What are you talking about?"
"Its...its.....deli cut."
Coming to a theater near you.
Quest For Greatness: Volume of the ham
Ahem. I'm an amazing screenwriter aren't I?
So basically the gist of this is that my mom bought the nasty deli sliced ham instead of the awesome kind of ham I -always- eat.
Like I said, happiness was stabbed and I was left very dissatisfied with an incomplete sandwich and a Boyfriend laughing hysterically.
[Alright so this just has to do with the incomplete sandwich thing.
I have a pervy joke. Well it's not really a joke. Just kinda. Cause the sandwich wanted meat inside of it. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Sandwich humor]
~~~
All of this was supposed to be posted last night.
-Sigh-
I'm actually on my computer now.
I fell asleep before I could finish this post last night so I decided to pretend it was still yesterday.
~~~
Drama sucks. It sucks ass.
Have you ever sucked ass?
I haven't. Because I'm amazing.
I assume it'd be unpleasant though.
It'd probably invoke similar memories of sucking balls. And your childhood.
And your uncle.
Hehehe.
ANYWAY. So yeah.
Boyfriend's friend Lauren is going through some stuff.
Aka, she and her boyfriend broke up and then right after she got with Boone.
0.0 Whoa. I mean like, I've had some short periods of being single but never that fast. I mean like, I hope she's happy cause her ex Tyler was kind of a dick to her (He's a cool dude though; I'm not flaming. We're friends.) it just seems a bit....meh. -Shrug-
And a lot of people in my life are depressed right now <--more drama.
Hell, I even get depressed.
I cried yesterday. And it made Boyfriend upset :/
Cause he thought it was his fault. Which it wasn't.
I never even really told him why I did. There wasn't an exact way. It was different stuff...
Ya know what I mean?
Maybe you do.
I wouldn't know since I'm not you.
Gahhhh. I'm such a depressing person.
I don't want to like....talk about a lot of stuff on here; Not like I'd mind Boyfriend seeing it but I know for a fact that my friend Lauren reads this >.>
Yeah Lauren. Lol. I can see what kind of browsers look at my blog. Android?
Ermherm. Herro.
And Brady might read it too.
Etc etc.
Everything already thinks I'm emo anyway x3 (Boyfriend- Bri, your background is a cat throwing up rainbows. It's emo.). and I admit, I am pretty emo.
But I'm still shy about this kind of thing. I was considering making another blog and posting all of my emotional bad stuff on IT but I decided against it.
~~~
I told Boyfriend a lot about how I was when I was a little kid.
I was quite a frightened child.
I was afraid of a lot of different monsters.
Like the werewolf in my closet.
Or the crocodiles under my bed.
Or the Moose Monster. *shudder*
The Moose Monster was utterly terrifying.
It was basically the same concept of Slender man but....moosey.
AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT SLENDER MAN THEN.
Garsh.
 |
| Pure, Unadulterated horror. |
THIS IS THE MONSTROSITY THAT TORMENTED MY CHILDHOOD.
Would you be able to sleep if you kept seeing that at your window at night?! Hell no!
Moose Monster was like my freakin' kryptonite.
Oh I could be as brave as I wanted in the day, when the sun was blaring its heated rays down on earth. But at night, Satan came to Earth in the form of Moose Monster to torment my sleeping pattern.
:'(
I still look out of the windows at night expecting to see Moose Monster x3
I just know some dickhead friend of mine is going to see this and never let me live it down.
But that's alright. Because I love you guys.
And Moose Monster will smite you down eventually anyway.
~~~
OH.
Remember when I told you that I had to make a kite for my science class?
I did. And it was as if Canada threw up all over it.
:]
Wanna see it?
 |
| It's Canada, Eh. |
I think it's quite lovely.
I only had two markers so it looks a bit menacing lol.
By the way, those aren't axes. Those are hockey sticks. Just saying.
My kite never actually flew. x3
It's a failure. To Canada. I was able to make Canada jokes when it was one of the only kites that didn't fly.
I have ONE Canadian friend (Oh believe me, everyone torments her enough as it is, eh.) and she definitely wanted to castrate me.
With a rusty spoon.
Remember how I'm a girl?
Yeah.
Owwie.
I love Canadians. ;D
Well, I'll post more later.
Byebye.
<3
I never got a Sandwich
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