Invisible Mustaches, RPGs, and Pedophilia.

If I was a pedophile I would totally make everything I did pedophilish in some way.

"Hey, feel my legs!"
"Why?"
"I just shaved!"
"Okay!"
**Molestation**
"....Why did you do that?"
"Oh, I apologize, I thought you said to pedofeel you. Common mistake."

THAT WOULD SO HOLD UP IN COURT.
Anyone that disagrees isn't a successful pedophile.

By the way guys, I'm so -not- a pedophile.
xD
I think it's a little bit of the opposite actually.
All of my boyfriends have been older than me.
((ROBBIN' THE GRAVE, FTW?))
Also, just kidding.
They've never been obscenely older than me.

~~~

So anyhow.
I go on a field trip tomorrow. To practice graduation.
:]
'Cause real women practice EVERYTHING. Multiple times in a row.
**Makes masturbation joke**

Ahh. Crudeness. <3

When Sheila wants me to play one of her girly pokemon-parody RPG's I always tell her, "That's a girls game."
Then she's always like, "Briana....you ARE a girl."
And I'm like, "No, no I'm not. I'm a -woman-."

I'd like to share with you that Sheila is a taller, more developed, older female than I.
Ahaha.

~~~

Rahhhhh.
I found out that my friend Dakota lives in Pennsylvania.
I thought he lived in Florida.
Can you say Wtf...?

Haha.
I started to ask him lots of questions about being a Yankee and assorted other things.

Then he started making fun of my accent and my extended use of the word "ya'll".
Sigh.
Silleh boi.

~~~

I just saw one of my ex-boyfriend's Facebook status set as (and I quote):

"I finally shave my mustache off!!! And it only took me an hour to finish :)"
...so many things are wrong with that.

A:
I saw him Friday. He had no mustache.

B:
Why did it take him an hour to shave off the invisible mustache?

C:
I just know that certain members of my group of friends will know who this ex-BF is by the way he talks.

Speaking of mustaches, if anyone reading this is growing one:
SHAVE IT OFF. RIGHT NAO. Especially if you're a middle school/ high school aged boy who is not actually physically capable of growing one.

Pet peeve: Icky facial hair.

Do you know how much of a turn off it is to see a cute guy and then see his face get savagely attacked by a rat masquerading as facial hair? xD
I mean, true, some guys -can- work it.
That doesn't mean -you- can, guys!

P.S. Hey Boyfriend. I've never seen you with a mustache. Let's try to keep it that way, pwease? Haha. If you reeeeeaally want one....we'll talk.

P.S. P.S. Please shave your face every now and then, regardless. <3

~~~

I have to go twirl a flag in a bit.

Mrs. BPM insists that I work very very hard at my job of rainbow-guardian.
It's not too bad.
Byebye~
<3

Sorry that this post is short!
I don't really have much time to think of anything else.

TheDuckSong
("And then he waddled away, waddle waddle.")